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I would be remiss if I did not tell you that this morning was very strange indeed.  I woke up suddenly lying in a bed with funny plastic side rails (at least as I remember them) with tops that overlapped like the petals of a tulip.  I was in a rather bare room with a toilet seat in one corner and no other furniture.  There was a calendar hanging on the wall, but it was too far away for me to read.  There was an IV running into my arm and my vital signs were being projected onto a screen on a pedestal standing next to the bed.  One whole wall of the room was glass.  Bright sunshine floated in the one window.

Three men in white coats walked in through an opening in the glass wall and they all seemed to chime “Good morning” at once.  They all appeared to look alike in their white coats, but I was with it enough to realize they were different people and they were all doctors.  One of them said, “It’s good to see you awake.  How are you feeling?”  “Fine”, I replied.  This was a new experience for me but would be repeated often.  I am surprised I can tell you this much as my memory was as empty and barren as the room.  Another one asked, “Can you tell us your name and date of birth?”  I had the strangest sensation as I realized I had no idea who I was, none whatsoever.  My mind felt like it was part of the white walls and their white coats–blank.  How could that be?

I did not know that I had had a tumor removed from my cervical spine.  I was in the beginning of a two-year journey that included three neurosurgeries and an abdominal surgery.  I was intubated for a short period, was fed through a stomach tube, and had lost my memory.  I was confined in hospitals, often in ICU units, an Alzheimer’s rehab hospital and three different nursing homes, all before returning home.  I struggled with the loss of my memory, my house, my corporate job, my car, and most of my material possessions.  However, I never lost my God or my family, the two most important things in my life.

And my God taught me so many lessons!  And He has given me joy and peace in His presence like I have never experienced before!   My dear, sweet Aunt Mary (that aunt who is like everybody’s second mom and is always there for you) hugged me when it was over and with tears said, “You never should have had to go through that”.  But she was wrong.  God’s plans are often hard to understand.  We do think, “Why, Lord?”  But He is in control and there are reasons for everything He puts in our path.  We often can’t see it until later, but He is always working for good in us.

The name of the nursing home where I recovered most of my memory was Providence Place.  The first definition of “providence” in the Oxford Desk Dictionary is “protective care of God”.  I worked diligently with a wonderful cognitive therapist, but I know the gift truly came from God.  My therapist said they had no expectation I would reach the level of recovery that I did.

I recently found a diary I had during this period and the first entry was from Jan. 30, 2012, a year after all this began.  The entry reads, “Yesterday was a gift from God.  Lisa [my daughter] picked me up from the nursing home at 11:45 AM and I got to spend all day with her and Matthew [my 4-year-old grandson].  What I loved best was when we played ‘hot potato’ with his ‘world’ beach ball.  He had that belly laugh that is so pure and can only come from a 4-year-old”.

The Jan. 30th entry also speaks of nausea and tremors and the fact that my next surgery was only 12 days away.  Jesus told us there would be trials, but I’ve also learned we don’t need to be frightened during our journey.  He told us, “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go”  Jeremiah 31:18.  His presence gave me comfort every single day.

And God taught me that all the material possessions you have are really His and they are just “stuff” of no importance at all.  He is most important in your life and the people you love are the next most important in your life.  You really do not need the “stuff” when you are surrounded by the love of God and family.

When I left the nursing home for the last time finally destined for “home”, I moved into a one-bedroom apartment.  I remember sitting on the couch thinking, “What, now?  Where do you want me to go, Lord?”  I knew my life was not over.  God still had a purpose for me.  I asked Him, “What do you want from me now?  What can I do for you?”  I knew He would send me on the path from His plan for me.  One day I walked down the hall to the mailbox and on the bulletin board there was a poster asking for volunteers to work with children in schools saying they also provided transportation.  It was like a miracle!  You don’t buy a car living on Social Security Disability so I would need transportation.  Within weeks I was working at a local elementary school with 1st and 2nd graders (kindergarten was added later).  My first love when I started college was to be an elementary school teacher, but I did not finish college and ended up working my way up the corporate ladder.  Now I could do what I had always wanted to do!  I am just a volunteer, but I get to spend three mornings a week helping students and I LOVE IT!  I praise and thank God every day for the opportunity He has given me.  He has given me the comfort, peace and joy He has always promised us.

We do not need to worry, even when we are going through a trial here on earth,  because our loving Father will always be with us and take care of us.